whats going on ..

i think it's safe to say that i am not exaggerating .. that i am pretty calm down and am looking at this matter rather objectively ..

after 2 emails, an sms and yet another email in the morning .. what do i get? practically nothing! nothing more than a 5 sec voicemail just saying my name and some other words mumbled ..

i called her .. we chatted for around 10 mins .. just to keep it lively i tried opening up all sorts of subjects .. although i played it cool or tried to at least it was more like gulping down a shard of glass .. it hurts .. the "longer" it goes the deeper it rips through .. and if you try choking it out it'll just scandalize you before whomever is there ..

10 mins enriched with "sayang, sweetie, habibi and honey" and i didn't even get a "take care dear" ..

if you don't want me, if you don't like me, tell me so .. curse me out of your life but don't kill me slowly with your mistimed nonchalance ..

i asked about the sms i sent you .. sure i knew it had gone thru .. didn't u get the jist ??? i changed my g-status to "i miss you .. but y arent you there?" .. don't you get it?

i know this must not be easy for you .. but believe me it's worse for me .. but i've never known you being "cold" .. yes i would much rather have you get angry at me, perhaps even offend me with an impolite word or two .. but don't become "french" or "german", hence emotionless

weird coincidence .. i haven't heard celine dion in quite some time .. and just yesterday in the midst of this emotional holocaust there came her song saying "i xxxx xxx .. please say you xxxx xx too"