karma

karma .. a very strong word .. it could hurt and it hurts when somebody thinks that you wanting to get back together with them is "karma". why? is wanting to get back together with somebody a sign of despair or is it a sin? i wanna be with you because i love you and not because i am desperate. i wanna be with you because i see the world through your eyes and because there is nobody out there who would not be with me.

i wanna be with you because you are the only one i have missed this much. you are the only one, whose existence in my mind made me say "no" to others, when they were right between my arms. i chose you .. i choose you ..

french, spanish or italian .. hhmmmm .. no don't wanna talk about that .. but maybe i do .. is he the reason why you want me to be there specifically from the 23rd to the 27th only .. is he gonna be there afterwards .. are you gonna spend time with him? are you then gonna choose cuz I don't like being an option even if i was in first place ...

but you talked to him frankly about me you say and i believe you .. because you have never lied to me and i love you and respect you for that. but is it possible that after taking a step back from him you might take a step towards him after christmas? who knows? perhaps!!!

don't misunderstand me .. it's her right to do so. she deserves a happy and most important a fulfilled life.

but hey i am just human. i can't not feel jealous although i never have with anyone else before. i can't strip away my emotions and say "you know what? as long as she's happy i am happy" .. i'd be lying if i said that. maybe in the future if things don't work out for good and i absorb reality but not now for now i want to be with her for now i love her ...